Clean Your Own Ducts
Why So Much Marketing Feels Like Spam
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Clean Your Own Ducts.
Why So Much Marketing Feels Like Spam
No, I don’t want to borrow $386,000.
No, I don’t want a “pre-approved” business loan.
No, I don’t want to know how much working capital my business qualifies for.
No, I don’t want to refinance my mortgage.
No, I don’t want to sell my house for cash.
No, I don’t want to sell you my car.
No, I don’t want an extended warranty for my car.
No, I don’t want solar panels on my roof.
No, I don’t want new windows.
No, I don’t want my driveway pressure cleaned.
No, I don’t want my roof inspected.
No, I don’t want Medicare Advantage.
No, I don’t want a final-expense insurance policy.
No, I don’t want to consolidate my debt.
No, I don’t want help with the IRS.
No, I don’t want to eliminate my credit-card debt.
No, I don’t want to know if I qualify for a government grant.
No, I don’t want to claim the tax credit that expires at midnight.
No, I don’t want to invest in cryptocurrency.
No, I don’t want to learn your secret options-trading strategy.
No, I don’t want to make $10,000 a month working from my phone.
No, I don’t want your foolproof system for generating passive income.
No, I don’t want to become an Amazon millionaire.
No, I don’t want to start a drop shipping business.
No, I don’t want to buy a franchise.
No, I don’t want to become a franchise consultant.
No, I don’t want to buy an ATM route.
No, I don’t want to buy a vending-machine route.
No, I don’t want to buy an absentee-owned laundromat.
No, I don’t want to buy a “turnkey” business.
No, I don’t want to buy leads.
No, I don’t want 10,000 new LinkedIn connections.
No, I don’t want 100 guaranteed appointments with qualified prospects.
No, I don’t want to put my sales prospecting on autopilot.
No, I don’t want your AI bot to write my LinkedIn posts.
No, I don’t want your AI bot to write my blog.
No, I don’t want your AI bot to answer my phone.
No, I don’t want your AI bot to clone my voice.
No, I don’t want your AI bot to turn one piece of content into 97 pieces of content.
No, I don’t want to “10X” anything.
No, I don’t want to scale my business while working four hours a week.
No, I don’t want to “unlock” my potential.
No, I don’t want to “crush” my goals.
No, I don’t want to “dominate” my market.
No, I don’t want to “skyrocket” my revenue.
No, I don’t want to discover the one weird trick that changes everything.
No, I don’t want your free 15-minute strategy session.
No, I don’t want to jump on a quick call.
No, I don’t want to pick your brain.
No, I don’t want you to pick mine.
No, I don’t want to circle back.
No, I don’t want to explore synergies.
No, I don’t want to see if there’s a fit.
No, I don’t want to hear how you’ve helped “people just like me.”
No, I don’t want to watch your three-minute video explaining why I should answer your email.
No, I don’t want to download your free ebook.
No, I don’t want your free white paper.
No, I don’t want your free webinar.
No, I don’t want your free assessment.
No, I don’t want your free consultation.
No, I don’t want your free newsletter.
No, I don’t want to join your mastermind.
No, I don’t want to become a certified coach.
No, I don’t want to write a book in a weekend.
No, I don’t want you to turn my book into a bestseller.
No, I don’t want a Wikipedia page.
No, I don’t want a blue checkmark.
No, I don’t want guaranteed media coverage.
No, I don’t want to be featured in your prestigious magazine.
No, I don’t want to pay $2,500 to be interviewed on your podcast.
No, I don’t want to pay to receive an award I’ve never heard of.
No, I don’t want to be included in your list of the World’s Most Influential Visionary Thought Leaders.
No, I don’t want to buy followers.
No, I don’t want to buy likes.
No, I don’t want to buy reviews.
No, I don’t want to buy backlinks.
No, I don’t want to be on the first page of Google by next Tuesday.
No, I don’t want you to redesign my website.
No, I don’t want you to fix my SEO.
No, I don’t want you to fix my GEO.
No, I don’t want you to fix my AEO.
No, I don’t want you to fix something I didn’t know was broken until you emailed me.
No, I don’t want to outsource my marketing.
No, I don’t want to outsource my sales.
No, I don’t want to outsource my customer service.
No, I don’t want a virtual assistant to manage my life.
No, I don’t want to hire the “top 1% of offshore talent.”
No, I don’t want to save 70% on payroll.
No, I don’t want to move my company to Dubai.
No, I don’t want a second passport.
No, I don’t want to buy a condo in another country.
No, I don’t want a timeshare.
No, I don’t want someone to get me out of a timeshare I own.
No, I don’t want a free cruise.
No, I don’t want a $99 luxury vacation.
No, I don’t want to know what my unused airline miles are worth.
No, I don’t want CBD gummies.
No, I don’t want mushroom coffee.
No, I don’t want a supplement that will make me feel 25 again.
No, I don’t want to lose 20 pounds without changing what I eat.
No, I don’t want thicker hair.
No, I don’t want whiter teeth.
No, I don’t want younger-looking skin.
No, I don’t want to know what doctors don’t want me to know.
No, I don’t want to know what banks don’t want me to know.
No, I don’t want to know what insurance companies don’t want me to know.
No, I don’t want to know what “they” don’t want me to know.
No, I don’t want to meet attractive singles in my area.
No, I don’t want to know who viewed my profile.
No, I don’t want to know who searched for my name.
No, I don’t want to know who unfollowed me.
No, I don’t want to know who has a secret crush on me.
No, I don’t want to claim my prize.
No, I don’t want to confirm my delivery address.
No, I don’t want to click the link before my Netflix account is suspended.
No, I don’t want to restore my Apple account.
No, I don’t want to verify my bank account.
No, I don’t want to talk to the fraud department.
And no, I don’t want to send gift cards to anybody.
The Real Problem Is Relevance
Somewhere along the way, marketing became less about figuring out what we want and more about finding new ways to interrupt us with things we don’t. We have AI, algorithms, automation, targeting, retargeting, personalization, lead generation, data mining, predictive analytics, and enough technology to put a man on Mars. And somehow, with all that firepower, some sales guy still thinks I want my air ducts cleaned.
What Do Customers Actually Want
Maybe the problem isn’t that they haven’t figured out how to reach us.
Maybe the problem is that they haven’t figured out what we actually want.