Click HERE to watch — It’s Too Easy to Say No
It’s too easy to say no — The Power of Embracing Opportunities
Back in the sixties, Jimmy Ellison and his brother installed coin laundry machines in the apartment buildings my father and grandfather built all over Miami Beach.
A Lesson from Jimmy Ellison
Years later, I ran into Jimmy in the grocery store on a Sunday afternoon.
“What are you doing later?” He asked.
“My band’s got a gig at John Martin’s Pub tonight.”
“I’ve always wanted to see you guys play. Maybe I’ll join you.”
“We’re on from eight to midnight. C’mon down, I’ll buy you a beer.”
“You know, I live on the way. Why don’t you pick me up?”
“I could, but you probably don’t want that. I’ve got to get there about an hour early to set up, and it takes us at least another hour to break all our equipment down afterward. If you come with me, you’re stuck there for the whole night.”
“That’s okay. C’mon by around 6:30, and I’ll go with you.”
Around 6:00, my phone rang. It was Jimmy. I was sure he was calling to cancel.
“Just confirming you’re coming to get me,” he said. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
When I got to his house, his wife Janet asked me in.
“Jimmy’s in the kitchen,” she said, pointing down the hall.
I was sure he would tell me he was tired and had changed his mind, but instead, he was dressed and ready to go. He kissed Janet goodbye, and off we went.
The evening was fun, the gig went great, and the breakdown was easy. When we returned to Jimmy’s house, he thanked me for an enjoyable night, and I told him I was happy and surprised he came along.
“I was sure you were going to cancel,” I said. “I figured you’d tell me it was too late, you were too tired, you had to be up early for work the next day, or something like that.”
The Mantra of “It’s Too Easy to Say No”
“I was,” he said. “I thought of all those excuses and some more to boot. But then I remembered something your grandfather told me years ago, and I decided to go.
‘It’s too easy to say no.’”
Since that night, I’ve tried to incorporate my grandfather’s mantra into my life. I think about it most of the time I’m invited to do something that requires extra effort.
Why “It’s Too Easy to Say No” Matters for Personal Growth
Should I run another marathon? That’ll take a lot of training.
Should I write another book? That’s a full year of work.
Should I take a third speaking gig across the country in the same week? That’ll be an awful lot of time in the air. But remember, it’s too easy to say no.
Expanding Your Life Through Yes
The funny thing is, after I’ve convinced myself to go the extra mile and actually do whatever I was concerned about, good things usually happen. And whatever misgivings I had before the action are almost always forgotten.
Breaking Free from the Easy No
Reminding yourself that it’s too easy to say no is a great way to enhance your life by doing something you’ll probably enjoy doing anyway. And if you don’t, at least you’ll know why you gave it a shot.
Real-Life Benefits of Yes
Last week, my friend and one of the best keynote speakers I have ever seen, Mark Scharenbroich, was kind enough to put on a masterclass for our Florida Speakers Association chapter. After he flew home to Minneapolis, Mark sent me this gracious note: “Thank you, Bruce. We really enjoyed the group. Anytime you ask, the answer is always ‘yes.’ Cheers.”
I guess Mark also knows it’s too easy to say no.
Thanks for sharing that story, Bruce. Your story reminded me of when I was around 14, my brother shared a quote attributed to Mark Twain. I printed copies of the quote and put them in places around my home so I’d randomly come across them. Now the quote usually pops into my head when I am inclined to say “no,” even to seemingly insignificant decisions/actions. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Thanks, too, Max and Keith, for sharing your stories!
The reality is that you can only be in one place at a time.
When you say Yes to one thing, you are saying No to another.
I heard this advice many years ago and it has served me well. It’s not that I don’t say yes when it counts, it’s just that I stop and consider the consequences.
Love this Bruce – everything you said is so true! I’m going to try to both remember your Grandfather’s words, and incorporate into my decision making process. Thanks for sharing 😇
I can’t stop smiling, thinking of how many new friends and new thoughts/ideas I’ve gained by saying yes – when my original thought was no!
Recently, an Engineer friend of mine asked to meet his client to discuss their wish for a new bedroom on their very small home. My first reaction was “no, that’s too small and time consuming”. It turns out that they live in a 100 year old, wood framed, historic house in South Miami and we’re now adding a really sexy, architectural, metal framed library/study/loft addition. In addition, we have become great friends with this couple and their 3 young daughters. I’m so happy I said YES!
Thanks again, Bruce.
I like this one, Bruce, and so true. A young (very) creative guy who wotrked for me in NYC years ago put it somewhat differently. He used to say that when confronted with a choice about whether or not to take action on something, he always asked himself this question: “What choice will make the better story?” I never forgot that, and have tried to live that way, myself. It’s way too easy to say, “No.” But it’s usually a whole lot more interesting and fun to say, “Yes!”