In the New York Times article “My Piece of the American Id” the author poignantly points out the way she's been mistreated as a black woman in the United States. As the author says, “Like all people of color, I've been on the receiving end of racial microaggressions for as long as I can remember…”
I have a keynote speaker friend who often posts her similar experiences on Facebook, including the very gracious and eloquent ways she handles these interactions.
I sent her the New York Times article.
On Sunday, I read another article in the Times titled “Becoming a Man (at Age 50). What I learned about masculinity from my father, my father-in-law and my own transition.” As the author explains, “I had been living as a white Midwestern woman for 50 years and 10 months until one weekend, I crossed a line… (and) became a man… My wife… has identified as a lesbian for 40 years… men haven't been of particular interest to her. She never had any intention of living with one… I didn't want to lose my lesbian lover or be a failed feminist and intellectual.”
I have another keynote speaker friend who has gone through almost this same situation with her recently transitioned husband.
I sent her the New York Times article, too.
It was interesting, yes. But was it the right thing to do?
Was it the Right Thing to do?
Sending articles that interest people is something I do almost every day. On the same day I sent those two NYT articles, I sent a few more. My assistant Scott received the Wall Street Journal article “Downsizing Your Home Is Hard.”
because I knew the subject would fascinate him. My friend Mike got a link to an article on the Brumos Porsche collection because I knew he'd love looking at the cars.
Does Building Relationships Build Brands?
The 15 women and men in my running group receive articles on training regimens, fueling suggestions, and record-breaking runners. The musicians in my band get articles about music we like and artists we admire too. My friend Tom receives articles about cameras and motorcycles. My daughter gets articles on traveling and vegan restaurants. And my wife and son get articles about politics.
A friend once told me “you build your brand by letting people know that you're always thinking of them and sending them articles you know will interest them to prove it.”
One Word is Enough.
David = Runner
Mike = Car enthusiast
Ali = Vegan
Carlos = Flower distributor
Elaine = Musician
It's true that commercial brands are often established and expressed with one or two words, even when those brands are individuals.
Volvo = Safety
Fox News = Conservative
Herman Miller = Modern furniture
Larry David = Obnoxious
Alan Weiss = Consultants' consultant
Is One Word is Enough?
But do those semiotic definitions communicate enough meaning to properly direct our actions? In other words, can we use our singular perceptions of people to decide how they should be treated. Is it generous or small-minded to share information with someone simply because I think the information will interest them? Does the action build my brand or limit my horizons?
I don't know the answer. Maybe someone will send me an article that explains it.
You lost me on what to focus on this one Bruce. From was it right to one word did not recognize net take away.
Thanks for brining that to my attention, Steve. As you know so well, it’s always good to know how your words are getting across.
In this case, I was truly asking a question – I guess I didn’t have a strong takeaway, I wanted to know what my readers thought of this specific issue.
I did get a lot of generous responses with varying opinions and it was a valuable exercise.
Still, I’ll try to be more clear in the future.
Thank you.
Thanks for another thought-provoking post this month. For me, the biggest takeaway is that you are thinking of people, your friends and colleagues and family, which is great. Everyone has their core interests, so I don’t see the harm in taking time to know what they are and taking it to the next step by acknowledging what they are by sending them articles. For me, it comes down to frequency and how well you really know a person. If I am getting stuff all the time from someone that I know, but don’t know really well, my antenna go up. If it’s from a close friend or family member and it’s once a week or something like that, then I appreciate it. I don’t think you should do it with any expectation of reciprocity (and I don’t think you do) but if you are only doing it no more than once a week and you know these folks well, I think it’s terrific. #mytwocents. Hope to see you in Miami for IASB in April and thanks for all of your service to our industry! Cheers, Randy
Okay,, you GOT ME. I had no idea what the word “semiotic” meant. So, I looked it up. And I now I have only a little idea idea of what the word “semiotic” means. But it’s a cool looking and sounding word. But I digress. I think sending articles is the RIGHT thing to do as long as they truly align with the recipient’s INTERESTS. For example, Ali will most likely ALWAYS like getting ideas on Vegan food and eateries. She’s interested in that. Friends who are going through some sort of life stage (breakup, move, starting a new sport or diet, etc.) will always be interested in an article on that. However, does one’s go-to-African American friend ALWAYS want to be forwarded articles about racial discrimination and profiling? That is likely a topic they are well familiar with and can comment on…but does it likely get tiresome for their non African American friends to send them constant articles for their comments or thoughts? I’m guessing yes. So, I think it goes back to your original premise…if we are always thinking of our friends and we send them articles that are in their ongoing INTEREST…..that IS the right thing to do. Of course, I am biased as I imitate you on this…but not quite at your impressive frequency. I sent a CNN article to a new contact I met on Monday night. Because it was something I thought he would be interested in!
What Tim said above; I concur and he already said it all. I too am very grateful–and I too appreciate you, Bruce.
As one who has been the grateful recipient of these occasional “gifts” my view is this: wow, how thoughtful! Even if someone hands me an article on ten ways to prepare Brussels Sprouts (legalized poison) it’s the act of SHARING that makes me feel good about myself.
If its about Corvettes or Senior Runners, that’s icing on the cake.